Oriental Rug Collector T-Shirts

"Let's cut some rug!"

"You're on a what?!"

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

'1,2,3 4,5,6 7,8,9...'It's the little things that count.(little figurines counting).

Emergency Hipster Beard

It's our new twin-handle beer mug. It's for manly, two-fisted drinkers, as well as weaklings like you who can't lift it with one hand.

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

Football supporters.

I'm going to have to ask you for another urine sample, Mr. Fusco. This time, be sure to use the plastic cup, not my coffee mug with "#1 Doctor" printed on it.

"Another round?"

'Put down the coffee mug. I forget what you look like.'

The last of the Mom and Pop brokerage houses

'Not till you're sixteen.'

The Milbrook Verney chair in literature. The C.K. Frebish endowment for footnotes.

"Interestingly no - these are vastly enlarged images of my three favourite chromosomes."

Day 4 of self-isolation and the strain was showing.

"This is our coffeemaker room."

Don't you like it, Dad?

"Well Doctor, I thought if a placebo works, this might as well..."

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to smell hoppy. ! !

"We had these twigs flown in from Italy."

Billy strip: bed pan.

"Carbon paper? Typewriter ribbon? An ashtray? After your retirement, have you considered opening a museum?"

'Oh, how utterly romantic! A hunter rug in front of the fireplace!'

"I hate a sarcastic cup of coffee."

'He was just the same with my frankincense - more interested in the box!'

'Where is the rest of your inventory? Why isn't there a price tag on this one? Just what kind of rug store is this anyway?'

"If you're such a good artist how I come I can't buy any of your stuff on a mug?"

"You stand accused of multiple thefts of winter bedding. How do you plead?"

"Al's a little careless, but he is our best salesman."

"Damn To-Go punks!"

'...However Algae production is still in its infancy...'

'Watch that one, he'll make mugs of us all.'

'Mummy, why is lace so expensive when it is mainly holes?'

'I told you the next time you crossed me it would be curtains for you!'