Organizational Culture Gifts

Silo sweet silo

'Let's start with an x-ray of your organisation culture.'

We should promote many of our staff to management positions...

Unreachable Suggestion Box

Three offices - CEO / CEO / SOB.

Hierarchy with 'Me' at the top.

Office Temporaries Inc

'Some executives have within them the seeds of greatness. Others are just seedy.'

'Attention, all department heads! The buck stops there. I've had it!'

'Ms. Snack, prepare the conference room for an executive sting.'

"We went with an open floor plan because it can really facilitate a shared sense of hysteria."

"Congratulations J.L., I hear you're getting another 'really' in your title."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

'Now that I have your attention...'

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"My email is down... talk to me."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"This position has become very important to the company."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'