Organizational Ace Gifts

"It's all a matter of planning...."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

Lethal Presentation

Nerd tryouts.

Do you want to win the game or my business?

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

Congratulations! All that cramming paid off.

Failure/Due Diligence

"Okay, I'll renew your contract and raise you five sick days."

"So the secret to getting good grades is to study hard...seems a little extreme!"

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

"We've invented a new word!"

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

Dept. of History. This term paper doens't have any footnotes at all! I'm suffering from citer's block!

Yahoo! What's that about? She got into the college of her choice. Which college is it? Not sure. She chose to apply to 37. West Fester High School.

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

'No, copyright does not mean you have the right to copy it.'

Professor Swizzlestix explains his point....

'The contracts look good. Why don't you have your disgusting pests call my disgusting pests.'

Scenes we'd most like to see...

When Managers have a Four Seasons pizza.

"No, you can't ask Alexa a quick question. This is a test, so you're on your own."

Oblivious at 20,000 Feet

Fed up with unnecessary bureaucracy?...what people don't appreciate is that if they don't fill out their C90D then how can we POSSIBLY know how many C90ds there ARE!

Ins and Outs of Sex Therapy

'Dear, the good doctor appears to have misplaced my file. Can you fax over your copy?'

In one ear/Out the other.

Cartoon Editor: No, No, No, No, No, No, Maybe.

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract..."

"I just audited our books. Your register came up five cents short, Rudy."

"It's a dog-eat-dog economy. And I'm the Doberman."

'I spent today with out spindoctor, and boy, am I dizzy.'

'And this is the secret of how our company gets through hard times: we grow all our own food!'

Keep it simple