Organic Optimizer Gifts

Genetic Food or Organic Food.

The Jeopardy of Progress

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

Supply Chain

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

'Eee,love - this place gives me a great idea for the spare bedroom!'

Don't Waste A Moment! Put Down That Magazine And Get Fit While You Sit!

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

'You may have found more new customers than the other salesmen, but your profits are too small! Stop just pulling in peanuts, Barry!'

'You've been rearranging the furniture again, haven't you?'

'Making staff get a sick note after one day is essential if we're to make the whole system work more efficiently!'

"It's a terrific space, Tony—but do you think the TV will fit?"

"Lady here wants to put £5 on Cambridge 'Each way'!"

The Devolution of Man

'Gentlemen, we make money the old-fashioned way, and it's got to STOP!'

"The mirrors really do make this apartment look bigger."

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

Castle Efficiency

"And these are the Andersons, our tenants."

Samuel Pepys' writer's block

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

'I can't remember the title,but it was on a little white piece of paper.'

"I'd consider taking out this appendix you'renot using and greatly expanding your kidney area."

'The town I grew up in was so affluent they used to close the schools in honor of options expiration day.'

"Junior, there's more to life than winning. There's also beating the spread."

"Just think- if it really was 'unlivably small,' would they have installed a permanent Ping-Pong table?"

"That's your tiny house!"

'How do you like the new cubicle?' - 'Can I have my old office back please.'

Kids' energy levels

"You said to start the laundry and bathe the cat, so I thought I could save time if..."

Silly man ordered a bed that is too big for his room.