Organ Optimizer Gifts

"I'd consider taking out this appendix you'renot using and greatly expanding your kidney area."

"Lay off the junk food, your pancreas is rusty"

'Your heart's in the right place... I wish I could say the same about your liver and kidneys.'

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

"By labeling it, I control it."

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

Supply Chain

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

Annual Mensa Convention: 'Ok, who's the genius who forgot to send out the invitations?'

'Eee,love - this place gives me a great idea for the spare bedroom!'

Lateral Thinking - Not Out & Not In trays.

'Why am I not surprised that this section is always the most disorganized?'

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

'You've been rearranging the furniture again, haven't you?'

'You may have found more new customers than the other salesmen, but your profits are too small! Stop just pulling in peanuts, Barry!'

"I'm afriad we had to cancel the 'perfect planning ' seminar. We forgot to book the hotel until it was to late and the speaker we hoped to use died in 1958."

'Making staff get a sick note after one day is essential if we're to make the whole system work more efficiently!'

"It's a terrific space, Tony—but do you think the TV will fit?"

'And if it ain't baroque, don't fix it.'

"And these are the Andersons, our tenants."

'Gentlemen, we make money the old-fashioned way, and it's got to STOP!'

"The mirrors really do make this apartment look bigger."

"Lady here wants to put £5 on Cambridge 'Each way'!"

Samuel Pepys' writer's block

A catch-all is born.

Bank. Moving Co. Joe got an apartment above the bank. He moved his things in today. Now he can say his "assets are over ten million dollars"!

Castle Efficiency

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

'I can't remember the title,but it was on a little white piece of paper.'

'The town I grew up in was so affluent they used to close the schools in honor of options expiration day.'

"Junior, there's more to life than winning. There's also beating the spread."

"Well...this meeting is about...ummhh...structure and...ummhhh...preparation. Well...ummhh...at least I think so..."