Option Optimizer Gifts

'Would you be interested in adding a few options?'

'The town I grew up in was so affluent they used to close the schools in honor of options expiration day.'

Elevator reads 'Up 'Down' and 'Other options'

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

'Don't worry about it. If at first we don't succeed, we can do it later and get paid time-and-a-half for it.'

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

'You may have found more new customers than the other salesmen, but your profits are too small! Stop just pulling in peanuts, Barry!'

The Devolution of Man

Bank. Moving Co. Joe got an apartment above the bank. He moved his things in today. Now he can say his "assets are over ten million dollars"!

"Lady here wants to put £5 on Cambridge 'Each way'!"

'Gentlemen, we make money the old-fashioned way, and it's got to STOP!'

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

"I'd consider taking out this appendix you'renot using and greatly expanding your kidney area."

'Remember kid, if the market goes down, it's a buying opportunity and if the market goes up it's the start of a rally.'

"Junior, there's more to life than winning. There's also beating the spread."

"Lay off the junk food, your pancreas is rusty"

'Office real estate' lifting weights

Man sees sign on betting shop door listing odds on when the proprietor will come back from lunch.

Derision/Leader/Respect

'The way I see it, we only have two choices, we either improve the quality of our product or we hire some really great sales people.'

'Get me into that 15% tax bracket I've heard so much about.'

Rudy, we're going to have to cut expenses. We already did that, boss. I don't think you're clear on the concept, minion. It's a way of life. Did you read one book and then never read again? Did you listen to one song and then never listen to another again? Did you kiss someone once and then never again? Cutting expenses isn't something you do just once. A good businessman cuts expenses constantly. Whether he needs to or not. You trim the fat. When you run out of fat, you trim the nerves and the

"When the dust settles we're all going to be very dusty."

"There was a lot of tension between his ergonomics and his feng shui."

Look — if you had one shot or one opportunity to seize everything you ever wanted. One moment — Would you capture it or just let it slip?

"With all that tinkering do you really save time?"

"I've just been spiffing up my image a bit."

'I hate toask again, but what is it I'm supposed to be looking for?'

'Let's try to improve our workstations even more.'

Paperless Office