Order In The Court Fanatic T-Shirts

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Bailiff."

'Lateral hires are always told we do things differently here.'

'I will not have the species card played in my courtroom, Counselor.'

'I'd better start on your appeal.'

"Yes, you were found guilty of the same crime in 2004."

'We find the defendant guilty. Do you have a problem with that?'

"Not good, your honor. My client is supposed to be executed a week before that court date."

"I'd like to propose a bill to the effect that we can remain freshmen indefinitely."

Low Class Action Suit

'We still haven't reached a verdict. Perhaps the DA could cut us a deal.'

'First she testifies against me, and now she marries the prosecutor!'

"I'm not technically a quote-unquote lawyer, but I do own a paper shredder and have visited several prisons."

"Does this mean that you're ready to cop a plea?"

'It was a furious stormy affair from the start, and after the winds of passion subsided, I just 'blew him away'.'

R. H. Gross - Criminal Law

'I'm afraid my gag order also applies to thought balloons, counselor.'

'We won the battle with the Sue tribe, but we'll be in the courts for years.'

"Your honor, we find the defendant quilty on all counts."

Accusing Zeus.

"Objection!"

"I'm sorry, but more than that I just can't say."

'I can take 400 words per minute.'

"It would have been a no-fault divorce if the judge wasn't happily married for 30 years!"

"Witness will refrain from devouring the prosecution!"

"Good trial." "Good trial." "Good trial."

'Orders in the court'

'Okay, I have the that backward. Step out of the car and then put your hands up.'

"Something tells me he won't show up in traffic court."

"They sentenced me to three days community service instead of four years in juvie. It was extenuating circumstances - my dad is having an affair with the public prosecutor!"

Enters a plea of a big man and ran away

'After cheating death, I naturally assumed I could cheat taxes, too.'

'The jury will please refrain from tossing seat cushions and heckling counsel.'

Law Groupies