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'After cheating death, I naturally assumed I could cheat taxes, too.'

Trial by Media

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

'The highest court in the land.'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

"We understand you wish to report a crime Madam? I'm Inspector La Garde and this is my able assistant Defective Constable Wallis."

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

Policeman giving paramedics a fine.

"No offence Jon, but..."

'I think we both know that's a decoy.'

"Ignore him - he hates everyone I haul in for questioning."

'Dr. McWit, I'm going to have to cite you for violating the laws of gravity.'

"I take it you want to go for a perp walk."

Arrest of La Tuta

'Vice squad - you're busted.'

'In future a reg number will suffice, ok.'

"I told him he was allowed one phone call. He's making a pledge to Channel 13."

'We struck these tax laws, but they somehow spontaneously regenerated into line 501(c), section 746-e, subsection (3), as described in paragraph (2).'

"Well, when you were called a 'bad dog,' were you publicly harmed?"

'Okay, just be patient -- it could be months before they learn to obey all of these.'

"It's been in self-drive mode all morning, maybe it's not programmed to recognise stop signs?"

"We're all metric now..."

"If you can prove my innocence to the court, I'll give you half of my cut, from the bank job."