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"And one more thing: you don't get to pardon yourself."

Trial by Media

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

'The highest court in the land.'

"We understand you wish to report a crime Madam? I'm Inspector La Garde and this is my able assistant Defective Constable Wallis."

The old good-cop, psycho-cop routine.

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

Policeman giving paramedics a fine.

"No offence Jon, but..."

"I take it you want to go for a perp walk."

"Ignore him - he hates everyone I haul in for questioning."

'I think we both know that's a decoy.'

'Dr. McWit, I'm going to have to cite you for violating the laws of gravity.'

Arrest of La Tuta

'Vice squad - you're busted.'

'In future a reg number will suffice, ok.'

"I told him he was allowed one phone call. He's making a pledge to Channel 13."

Bobsled Police.

Noir kitty.

'We struck these tax laws, but they somehow spontaneously regenerated into line 501(c), section 746-e, subsection (3), as described in paragraph (2).'

'Okay, just be patient -- it could be months before they learn to obey all of these.'

"Well, when you were called a 'bad dog,' were you publicly harmed?"

"It's been in self-drive mode all morning, maybe it's not programmed to recognise stop signs?"

'You have the right to remain silent...'