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'Sir, the stupidity of your actions was directly proportional to the number of surveillance cameras watching you.'

Trial by Media

'I called them, and told them what you were going to do tomorrow! '

Mistake with the IRS.

'What is YOUR parole officer's body doing in MY refrigerator!?!'

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

Idenity Parade.

"It was an ambush Sheriff, Injuns, didn't see what tribe, but they were real young!"

"We understand you wish to report a crime Madam? I'm Inspector La Garde and this is my able assistant Defective Constable Wallis."

'He can throw himself on our mercy til the cows come home... guilty.'

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

'Licence please. But how could I have one? The police took it away a year ago.'

'We're dealing with a really defiant criminal here...'

'Don't care. It's still graffiti. You're nicked.'

'Okay, just be patient -- it could be months before they learn to obey all of these.'

"It's been in self-drive mode all morning, maybe it's not programmed to recognise stop signs?"

Arrest of La Tuta

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

'The highest court in the land.'

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

The old good-cop, psycho-cop routine.

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Policeman giving paramedics a fine.

"No offence Jon, but..."

'Dr. McWit, I'm going to have to cite you for violating the laws of gravity.'

"Ignore him - he hates everyone I haul in for questioning."

'I think we both know that's a decoy.'

'Vice squad - you're busted.'

"I take it you want to go for a perp walk."

'In future a reg number will suffice, ok.'

"I told him he was allowed one phone call. He's making a pledge to Channel 13."