Law & Order Devotee Pillows

"And one more thing: you don't get to pardon yourself."

Trial by Media

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

Los Angeles' New Smart Meters

I always forget - Are we supposed to tip?

'The highest court in the land.'

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

The old good-cop, psycho-cop routine.

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

"We understand you wish to report a crime Madam? I'm Inspector La Garde and this is my able assistant Defective Constable Wallis."

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

Policeman giving paramedics a fine.

"No offence Jon, but..."

"Ignore him - he hates everyone I haul in for questioning."

'I think we both know that's a decoy.'

'Vice squad - you're busted.'

Arrest of La Tuta

"I'm charging you with texting and driving."

"I take it you want to go for a perp walk."

'Dr. McWit, I'm going to have to cite you for violating the laws of gravity.'

"I told him he was allowed one phone call. He's making a pledge to Channel 13."

'In future a reg number will suffice, ok.'

Bobsled Police.

Noir kitty.

'We struck these tax laws, but they somehow spontaneously regenerated into line 501(c), section 746-e, subsection (3), as described in paragraph (2).'

"Well, when you were called a 'bad dog,' were you publicly harmed?"

Corruption Contest

"It's been in self-drive mode all morning, maybe it's not programmed to recognise stop signs?"

'Okay, just be patient -- it could be months before they learn to obey all of these.'

'Don't tell me you weren't speeding back there. When you drove by me, all I could see was a blur.'