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'I'd better start on your appeal.'

'My client has asked to sit in your chair. He says it looks more comfortable.'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

I love Lawyers

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"I object!" "Overruled!"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

'The highest court in the land.'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

'Every day, I'm suing better and better...'

"Haven't you ever heard of the first amendment?"

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

Criminal Stupidness

'Your Honor, we find the defendant rich, famous and not guilty.'

"I take it you want to go for a perp walk."

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'