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Policemen Bill and Alf in police car.

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"Well, that's created a little order in a world of chaos."

"Call me?"

Child's Drawing (With Elephantiasis)

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"It said this 'Spilt Coffee' series afforded her a lifetime of lattes."

'Wow, talk about genius!'

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

"I'll be honest with you, I've been around the block a few times."

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

"Sorry I'm late: my parents insisted I wear protection on our first date, so I stopped to buy a flea-collar..."

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

"Outré or simply bad?"

Woman puts a targeting sight on her vacuum cleaner.

'You're no Pollock.'

"Since my divorce I thought I'd never laugh again. Then I noticed your toupee."

"A conundrum, rather than an outright mess, I think, Mrs Ellis..."

"Hired! You're just what we need in our budget office!"

Banana Smoothie

'This is the painting he was about to start when he shot himself.'

Jackson Pollock makes a mistake: 'Guess I'll have to start over.'

"I'm gonna talk to her. How's my breath?"

"Sinead?!"

"Is this 'pollocks'."

"It's a cautionary tale about why we shouldn't cut arts funding in schools."

"Is that all you can say - 'It's not messy'?"

"And if you look to the right you'll see what happens if you disrupt my class."

"The difference between a great guy and a total loser? I'd say it's about this much Merlot."

'I met the greatest guy! He's sweet, he's handsome, and his insurance policy is Equity Indexed Whole Life!'

Millais - Cubist Period

A man is looking at a sign saying Exhibition of art exhibition jargon.

"I suffer for my art..."

Jimmy Mussolini With "Leon""Precious I cannot be. One more allusion to Gilgamesh and I'll trash out. I make mistakes, just like you, every day. This may be one of them. I'll take the money and walk."