Offer Aficionado T-Shirts

Marketing pitch produces old cliches.

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

'If only every year was an election year.'

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

Wall Street Couch

Child's Drawing (With Elephantiasis)

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"It said this 'Spilt Coffee' series afforded her a lifetime of lattes."

'Wow, talk about genius!'

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

'I put that the pilgrims ate Butterball Turkey, Stove Top Stuffing, and Mrs. Smith's Pie. Think she'll give extra credit for brand names?'

Roads with a view.

Copywriter's blank paper compared to the gridded screen of a content provider.

"We're looking for the kind of bad taste that will grab - but not appall."

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

"Outré or simply bad?"

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."

They get into debt so fast these days...

"That's 'Help' with an 'H'."

You can't fool all of the people all of the time, especially with our advertising budget.

"We’d like a quiet table for two where my wife can justify spending three grand for a handbag."

'The client loves your work. Cut everything except for their logo.'

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."

"A conundrum, rather than an outright mess, I think, Mrs Ellis..."

'You're no Pollock.'

'We now have 28 subscription cards in every issue, but we MUST HAVE MORE!'

'This is the painting he was about to start when he shot himself.'

Great Poets of Catalogdom

Jackson Pollock makes a mistake: 'Guess I'll have to start over.'