Whimsical Judicial Fans T-Shirts

"Does this mean that you're ready to cop a plea?"

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

'Judge Mental.'

"I wouldn't want to be in your shoes."

'Anyone who's troubled by viewing the victim's corpse is free to leave the courtroom at this time.'

"I'd like to propose a bill to the effect that we can remain freshmen indefinitely."

Lawyers - A peroration a la Demosthenes

"Not good, your honor. My client is supposed to be executed a week before that court date."

Julian Assange

Low Class Action Suit

The Supreme Flip Flop!

"I'm not technically a quote-unquote lawyer, but I do own a paper shredder and have visited several prisons."

'I guess there's a lack of big trials. Court TV is carrying a tennis match.'

'Ask your partner if he'd be interested in a spin-off show in the time slot after yours.'

Judge laughing at a clown.

"Welcome Ruth!"

"How do you plead - quilty or not quilty?"

'Your Honor, I object. My client should be judged by a jury of his own bears.'

We couldn't decide if you're guilty or not, so we're just going to burn the roof of you mouth.

"My client was unaware that public waste disposal places exist, as she only watches TRASH on the television."

Mistress Dominatra, Esq.

'There's an obscenity case coming up about a topless restaurant.', 'Let me be the judge of that!'

"Your honor, we find the defendant quilty on all counts."

Lord Chancellor

'Orders in the court'

'I don't know about you guys, but my mail has been running two to one against the constitution.'

'Why am I sitting up here so high? Because I have long legs!'

Super PACS will remain.

"My incompetence will become the basis of your appeal."

'I admit I robbed the bank, Your Honor, but what's done is done.'

Next Defendant

Sit down, Mr. Fusco. This is a courtroom, not a singles bar. Certainly, your honor. May I have the bailiff send over a Cosmopolitan?

Wow, that was some Perry Mason moment, your honor! Was it good for you, too?

"Something tells me he won't show up in traffic court."

"I killed him in self-defense. I'm not good at accepting criticism."