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'Why am I sitting up here so high? Because I have long legs!'

A Judge about to enter an operating theatre for a 'Clinical Trial'.

It had taken a team of engineers at IBM over a decade and had cost more than 50 million dollars, but that nigh, when Eat-Bot 4000 finally broke the record for hot dogs in an hour, it was all worth it.

'Disqualified!... He did not yell 'Boing' when he jumped!'

"I wouldn't want to be in your shoes."

Sketches by Boz - A Pickpocket Being Wheelbarrowed to Police Station

"I'd like to propose a bill to the effect that we can remain freshmen indefinitely."

"That's what I call an off-off-off-off-off Broadway show!"

"See. I told you they have Roomba Rodeos when we're gone."

"I'm not technically a quote-unquote lawyer, but I do own a paper shredder and have visited several prisons."

"Does this mean that you're ready to cop a plea?"

"Henry is addicted to all of the Court programs."

"The jury would like to say that this case was not as juicy as it promised to be."

'You are charged with getting involved in the political process....'

'Orders in the court'

"Your honor, we find the defendant quilty on all counts."

'I don't know about you guys, but my mail has been running two to one against the constitution.'

Staff Toothpick of the Month.

"Pushing buttons with anything other than your index finger is an affectation."

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

"Something tells me he won't show up in traffic court."

"This man will be kept in police custard."

"Tyler is on work experience."

'Don't look at me that way, I am allergic to being eaten.'

'Disorganized Crime.'

"Do you know why they call me 'The crazy Judge', Mr. Hanson?"

"Before you sentence me, I'd like to remind the court that I was just passing through the building looking for a bathroom."

'It's nothing personal , Prescott. It's just that a higher court gets a kick out of overruling a lower court.'

Man kicking a car.

'And for sticking the most pins in a single shirt, the winner is...'