Quirky Justice Fan T-Shirts

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

"This man will be kept in police custard."

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

Horse draws a baby carriage.

"Why so grim, handsome?"

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

Mou...Man trap!

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

"At least he's honest about it..."

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

'I see Farmer Grayson is off to dust the crops again!'

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

"Do you swear you haven't embroidered the truth in your testimony today?"

'Must you be so judgemental?'

'It drives me crazy when people whine about the collapse of the system!'

'An injunction against the First Amendment? - Can we DO that?'

'Speak of the devil, there's my attorney now.'

Law 'N' Order

"You are hereby sentenced to one year of swimming with the people."

A throng runs out the courthouse to follow a car that is driving away decorated with a sign that reads "Just Acquitted".

"You're lucky you're a U.S. citizen and this is America! The government has generously offered you five free guesses about what you're charged with and where you're going to be secretly detained."

Barber does skinhead's haircut with a lawn mower.

"I sentence you 500 hours of community service - You can start by mopping this floor."

Top Secret Files

"We may be in trouble. . . the prosecutions expert witness can usually tell if a defendants been good or bad!"

"And today if the prosecutor says 'Liar, liar, pants on fire,' do not turn around to check."