Oral Hygiene Showdown Gifts

'You heard me stranger! This town ain't big enough for two effective decay-preventin' dentifrices!'

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

"Pollyanna, your teeth are shot. Stop sugar coating everything!"

Oct. 1982: Researchers attempt an ill-fated procedure in great white shark oral hygiene.

No Cavity Club/No New Gum Receding Club

'To grow a good beard, have good dental habits. First, brush with a concave brush to clean the teeth's facial surfaces. Then use a convex brush to reach flat surfaces. Then use a scalloped brush to be chic. Then floss to clean between teeth. Then use ...

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

You have the worst spring breath.

Dentist's Office: 'I know that $3,280 hurt you more than it did me, Dad.'

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

Car wash / Mouth wash

"Phew! Your breath. What have you been eating?"

"Yes, use an electric toothbrush but you still have to floss."

Floss Street Vendor

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

'I've got another loose tooth - It's not your cooking is it mum?'

"You always said nothing would ever come between us."

'I'm so glad to hear that your teeth are falling out too, Manfred - I thought it was my mom's cooking!'

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

'That's my husband, Brad. He's a dentist.'

"Ooh, you’ve got a little piece of retiree caught in your teeth."

'You're not supposed to use 'dental floss' on dentures!'

'I'm going to throw out my old toothbrush and get a new one.'

'I don't like the mediciney taste of this mouthwash either. I hate that taste of eyes of newt and turtle brains first thing in the morning.'

'...your teeth are putting on weight.'

"Damn these super powers!"

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

Adam was determined to have a nice, white smile for his big date that night.

"You've got a bit of thong caught between your front teeth."

'Your tooth still sensitive to hot liquids my dear?'

'Your new teeth whitener is keeping me up.'

'Mind that molar, careful of that canine...'

Vernon has a Floss with Death

'Here's a new toothbrush...I've been using that one on the dog's teeth!'