Oracle Fan Gifts

'This is Madame Muggins, she's in charge of budget allocation.'

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

The Phantom Of The Garden

Monster Baseball

"Got him up at the stadium, Chief. It was Yankee Duck Day."

Fox hunting.

Countess

'Watch out, Dewey! Cow pie!'

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

'He's not a skilled pitcher. In fact, he throws like a nerd...'

'Time out! He needs a hug!!'

'The nurse wanted you to pee in THIS type of cup.'

'Let me get this straight: you'll answer three questions, but only three questions? No kidding? Boy, is this my lucky day or what?'

"I'm Baroque without you!"

"A game similar to baseball was first played in the Olympics in 1996." I didn't think "Jeapardy!" had any softball questions.

"They say this will keep us up all night like that's a bad thing."

What would happen if Shakespeare lived centuries later and tried being a baseball umpire? Out, damned spot! Out, I say! Can you explain the infield fly rule. It is madness yet there is method in it! What's in a name? A rose by any other name would hit as sweet! Fair is foul, and foul is fair. You should stick to writing.

'Me? Argue? ...No, sir! That was an excellent call.'

'I need to tell Edgar...our house sold for a million two.'

Ellen Page

Mr. Macho at the game... and after the game is over.

Pizza at the Round Table

Sports Medicine.

'Why Isaac Newton kept returning to alchemy...' 'There's just no money in gravity.'

"Hey! What's with the 'home run trot'? You struck out!"

"I can't have the wart removed, I just got the Wicked Witch role in 'Wizard of Oz'."

"My dad is more into technology than sports. I dropped a ball today, so he thinks my mitt has a virus."

A heat wave threatens an old woman.

'Safe!'

Birthday cakes on porch on hot day

A Not So Grand Slam.

I use the word "batter" when talking about either of my two favorite things, pancakes and baseball!