Optimistic Job Seeker Gifts

'This is called waiting by the phone for months.'

Job Hunting.

"You can all unroll yourselves now. We're heading back up."

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

Plan 'A', Plan 'B' - "I say we should go with plan 'A', sir."

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

Smiling Cake: Brave yet stupid pastry...smiled all the way to the small intestine

"Things are looking up!"

"I'll put your application on file, Mr. Brandt, but I'm quite happy with my current paperweight."

"We were looking for somebody with experience in mumbo-jumbo but your resume is mainly about gobbledegook."

'Was my salary expectation a bit too high?'

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

Life is like a tube of toothpaste

GLAD-YOU-ATION

"What sets you apart from other candidates?"

'Next time, Featherton, I'd like to see your sales projections without the clouds.'

'...we are looking for someone with great interpersonal communication skills.'

"On your application it says you've been a circus clown, an orthopaedic surgeon and a molecular biologist."

"We do price loyalty, but we were also rather hoping for a candidate who could read right and walk on two legs."

'Staff Recommendations Inc.'

When staffing agencies screw up.

"And you can REALLY make 345,000 deliveries in ONE day!"

"It's always a good time to have a good time!"

The Little Engine That Could pulls into the subway station.

The globe vaults over Covid-19

"Let's save some time, shall we?... Yes, no, for about five years, since I was a small boy, yes, I can start on Monday. Thanks, bye."

If only it was true...'I'm raising all your salaries by 50%...'

Baseball teams have just opened their spring training camps! I love this time of year when anything is possible in the upcoming season. Maybe one day before the season ends, I'll be at the stadium and stand with the crowd as we anticipate the game's final out! I'll be thrilled if I go to a game and the catchers and home plate umpire are the only ones needing to wear a mask. This could be a special season. If things work out, fans everywhere will feel like winners no matter how their favorit

'So far, so good -- I got a second interview!'

Hope of spring.

'Thank goodness we invested in long term bonds.'

'Do you have any other references besides your mom and Santa Claus?'

"It pains me to do this, but you're hired."

'Shouldn't we also have a plan in case things go right?'