Optimistic Eater Gifts

'With only one tooth you can enjoy your food longer!'

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

'Come and get it!'

Children's Dream Dinners: Superhero Special

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

"Fridge-to-table"

Access Denied!

'Well, Mom, he's a redhead...and I guess you could say he's a glass-half-full sort of guy.'

"I'll have a gluten-free, hypoallergenic vegan cookie with whipped hand-sanitizer topping."

'You say you're an eternal optimist. How unfortunate. We're looking for an internal optimist.'

You are more than your job description.

Masochistic Soccer Fan

'You're paralyzed from the knuckle of your left big toe down -- it could have been a lot worse.'

"The good thing about eating a melon is that you wash your face at the same time!"

Guru on a mountain top with a take away menu

'You think ideas are contained in food?'

'Joe's Junk Food.' 'At least he's honest.'

"I'll be the best side dish ever."

"So, that's twenty seven breakfast rolls, sixteen bacon sandwiches. . ."

"I put an olive in my beer and turn it into a health drink."

You can stand under my umbrella.

Instant winner trash can

"If so many things taste like chicken, why did God make chickens?"

Smiley Trash.

'Do you have one with a bigger back burner? There's a lot of stuff I can't deal with right now.'

"Frank likes the Happy News show on the Nostalgia Channel. It plays fake news reels of the Good Old Days."

"Well, look at the bright side; that old adage 'cheaters never prosper' still holds up."

'With a grin like that you can't be sticking to your diet'

"I'd like the spaghetti surprise."

The Happy Movie - Warning: This movie contains no death, murder,explosions,fighting or violence of any kind whatsoever. 'What do you think?'

"When someone else is eating it, it wouldn't kill you to be just a little gluten-tolerant."

"I'm down to my original hat size."

'Don't worry- mine is the good E. Coli.'

'Oh... I assure you... no animals were harmed in making these delicious porky worky sausages.'