Joyful Eater Gifts

'With a grin like that you can't be sticking to your diet'

"The good thing about eating a melon is that you wash your face at the same time!"

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Today's special... donuts.

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

'Another neat trick is to cut regular spaghetti into little pieces, and next thing you know you've got yourself a bowl of spaghetti-i-s.'

Pasta

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

Children's Dream Dinners: Superhero Special

You are what you eat (Nuts).

'We're at an Italian restaurant this time, Kevin -- those are breadsticks, not giant-size chopsticks.'

"And this is my oldest son I was telling you about. The one that eats like a horse."

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

"Fridge-to-table"

Access Denied!

"Do you know donuts have fewer calories than you? I guess that would explain your muffin top."

"Sorry no half portions - at least that's the quantum theory."

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

"It's just like the regular stew only it's got some bits of matter in it we can't identify."

'You're pushing food round your plate.' 'No, it's moving on its own.'

"Do you have anything on the menu without maple syrup on it?"

Is it too late to substitute a bee in my coffee for a fly in my soup?

'My husband eats like a bird - Do you have regurgitated insects?'

"Mom says I should eat differnt colored foods. I'll have a pizza with jelly beans."

"There are 12,000 species of ants... and you prefer worms?"

"I'll have a gluten-free, hypoallergenic vegan cookie with whipped hand-sanitizer topping."

Boy who has eaten oysters and grown fat

Schoolgirl in canteen: 'The food's great but I wish they'd stop calling it 'pukka tukka'.'

'You dunk your donuts your way...'

"Your steak's prepared in the firebox of a 17th century tank engine - unfortunately sir, the chef can't confirm if it has 0-60T wheel arrangement or not."

Bangers and Mash

'Maybe we should have read the reviews first?'

Cafe Jelly, Set Lunch