Optimistic Dater Gifts

"I always pick Mr. Wrong..."

Why hasn't she text me to say she's late? She's stood you up. No, maybe it's okay, maybe she's had an accident...

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

Waterfall of Disappointment

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"Wanna do lunch?"

'Fancy a good time - no strings attached?'

'I didn't know people still played footsie.'

'But how can we be sure the dating service didn't make a mistake?'

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"You can come in. But don't try anything funny."

"Enough medical mumbo jumbo, just give it to me straight, Doc-will I ever be able to play piano again?"

'You're paralyzed from the knuckle of your left big toe down -- it could have been a lot worse.'

"You must believe me, Jane. I have excellent narrative skills."

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

"Gee, I'm sorry this had to happen on our first date!"

"I have two children from a previous economic cycle."

'Obviously a cry for help.'

Valentines Day.

"You're all arms Rodney."

"And to think, when we met online people said it would never last."

"Actually, I'm not long back on the dating scene myself."

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Heartbreak is a waste of time...

'She didn't say she'd go out with me, but she left the door open for further negotiations.'

'No offence, Captain, but two's company, three's a crowd!'

Help, I'm single.

"I don't really want a boyfriend right now either. This is purely a Post-VAX thing."

"I think she likes me. She sat five feet away instead of six."

"Hi, I just got divorced, would you like a free tote and mug?"

"I should tell you, I have a concealed insecurity permit."

"There's nothing coming up for tall, dark and handsome. How about medium, balding and warty?"

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'Maybe you set your ideals too high, Karen...'

"Isn't she great? We met snorkeling in the Bahamas."