Optimistic Dater Gifts

"I always pick Mr. Wrong..."

Why hasn't she text me to say she's late? She's stood you up. No, maybe it's okay, maybe she's had an accident...

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

Waterfall of Disappointment

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"Wanna do lunch?"

'Fancy a good time - no strings attached?'

"You can come in. But don't try anything funny."

'But how can we be sure the dating service didn't make a mistake?'

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'I didn't know people still played footsie.'

"Enough medical mumbo jumbo, just give it to me straight, Doc-will I ever be able to play piano again?"

'You're paralyzed from the knuckle of your left big toe down -- it could have been a lot worse.'

"You must believe me, Jane. I have excellent narrative skills."

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

"Gee, I'm sorry this had to happen on our first date!"

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"I have two children from a previous economic cycle."

"You're all arms Rodney."

'Obviously a cry for help.'

"And to think, when we met online people said it would never last."

"Actually, I'm not long back on the dating scene myself."

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'She didn't say she'd go out with me, but she left the door open for further negotiations.'

Heartbreak is a waste of time...

'No offence, Captain, but two's company, three's a crowd!'

"Hi, I just got divorced, would you like a free tote and mug?"

"I think she likes me. She sat five feet away instead of six."

"I don't really want a boyfriend right now either. This is purely a Post-VAX thing."

Help, I'm single.

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"I should tell you, I have a concealed insecurity permit."

"There's nothing coming up for tall, dark and handsome. How about medium, balding and warty?"

'Maybe you set your ideals too high, Karen...'

'I'm usually not very enthusiastic about blind dates, but I think that tonight went pretty smoothly!'