Optical Retailer T-Shirts

'And with every new pair of glasses you get a cool pair of 3D glasses for free'

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"I think I may have stumbled on something, Walpole."

Cut Price

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

"Home depot."

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

'I'm looking for something to impress the shareholders.'

'Tesco's cheif executive meets with staff.'

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

"I feel there's a whole culture around mules."

clock shopkeeper says timing is everything

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

Clock and Watch Shop: Second-Hand Clocks and Minute-Hand Clocks.

"It's difficult to attract a younger customer when our main demographic is babies."

Gerald Ratner's return

'Each one is signed and numbered.'

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

'Do we have any alligator pears?'

"It's not expensive, sir, when you consider it's long smell-by date!"

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

'It's Blurred.'

Vintage Dresses: Your Frock Exchange

I'm going for former flower children. Tree's Tree Nursery. Legal pot. Legal grass. Festuca. Carex. Miscanthus.

Gypsy curses didn't seem so threatening after the Mummy went into the peg business.

365 Lemonade Stand

'The body's ok, but the neck's too tight.'

Last Chance for Everything.

To-Let Town Centre Map

Black Friday - the day the retailer is crucified