Optical Joke Appreciators Pillows

'Well done. Your eyesight's better than mine.' (Man is picking his pocket).

What's an Imax cave?

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

'There it is, 'Twerk', right next to 'Twerp'.'

Laughing Zone Ahead

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

Florist. A vase for everything and everything in its vase.

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

'Excuse me, I ordered Matzo Ball soup.'

'HEY! Shouldn't that be a reef-knot?!'

"Have you had a stressful experience lately, such as an accident?"

"I'll tell you my diagnosis if you promise not to laugh."

"You've got to be kidding me." Hoover Dam

"...you mean this is the end of the 3 bandidoes?"

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

'I'm counter - intelligence'

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

Due to Global Warming Penguins have been Spotted Far from their Natural Habitat

"It's funny 'cos it's true!"

'...Oh yeah? Well I've never heard of the 'denture fairy'.'

"Calm down! That was a massive fart, NOT a sneeze!"

OMG.

'This isn't Armageddon... it's a bar brawl on a Saturday night. Let Pestilence read the map.'

Medicine bottle - If symptoms persist, die!

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

Split the last one?

"...and the dung was this big!.... No...elephant, actually."

'I'd probably do a lot better if the teachers weren't set to 'auto-correct.''

'Mind if I head off a little early today?'

Cyclopetrist's Waiting room

Where do you see yourself in five years? 35.

"He's been like that ever since he stopped eating the stuff and began smoking it."