Opposites Attract Believer Gifts

"I love you, ya big galoot."

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

"Your profile said you were a dog."

'Confusionism'

'Well, you know what they say about opposite's attracting...'

'No, your stock didn't split. The fact it's worth half of what it was yesterday is just an amazing coincidence.'

"So were hoping to interview Sir Keir Starmer today, but nobody here seems to know what he looks like."

The reserved and the go-ers.'

I defend to the death your right to say things I agree with.

"Francophobe meet Francophile."

We should talk...

'There goes the world's largest fish.' (fish bowl)

Jesus the comedian.

'Yeah, I'm an atheist - and a damn good one.'

Meet Aron Kowalski: The only person in the USA who hasn't been abducted by aliens...

'The end is near.'

Colin was always looking for new ways to communicate complex financial products.

'Well I don't care what these placemats say. I think we're perfect for each other.'

"Lucky beast....No factory farming, no suffering at the slaughterhouse...perfect."

'All I did was tell him his bonds were backed by the full faith and credit of the U.S. government.'

'Those stretching exercises you have been practicing are really working!'

"Yeah! Well, I don't believe in karma."

'You were right when you said that your horse would 'walk it'. He obviously did!'

'It'll never work, Richard. We're too different. For example, I only like a parade...'

"Isn't Bill going a little too green?"

Early one morning The Grim and The Happy Reaper pay Alice a visit.

"Uh-uh! No way! Don't even think about it!"

"Ignore the side effect scares - I've had both jabs in each arm - I'm getting my booster in this one!"

Highwire Texting

"Patty and Glen met at the Opera. Rich and I met at the beach. Where did you two meet?"

"I'm binge ignoring everything you're binge watching."

"Take me to David Bowie."

"Don't punish yourself for who you are. That's God's job."

'Where have you been all your life? Everybody knows that zero coupon bonds are the way to go!'