Opinion Poll Taker Gifts

'You are polling very well with the highly motivated 18 to 26 year olds who never vote.'

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

Annual Pollsters Convention. Wow, who could've predicted such a low turnout?

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

'When I want your opinion I'll sack you!'

'For? Against? Undecided? Uniformed? Apathetic? This is one accurate poll!'

"If you want my opinion you're damned if you do and damned if you don't."

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

E Pluribus Nada

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

"This internet survey is asking me to take another survey rating the survey I'm taking."

'Those are my views on the election, but perhaps you'd like to get a second doctors opinion.'

"Would you like your MP not to stand at the next election?"

"Do I take it that we can't be guaranteed your vote in the forthcoming election?"

'And now, an NBS News Special Investigative Report: Why doesn't President Obama get the respect and support he deserves?'

'The controversy builds, as we gather more half-arsed comments to dress up as considered public opinion!'

This survey will only take five minutes and will help me improve future floods.

"The latest poll numbers must be out."

'Our poll shows the typical voter is all polled out.'

"I am in a buying mood, but I still can't afford to buy anything."

Dropping Popularity of Obama.

"It seems all doctors agree with you, but I'd still like to get a 15th opinion."

"Hmm... I wonder what I can find to trigger my self-righteous indignation today..?"

"It's seasonal, like the first gritters of Winter and the first cuckoos of Spring...the first pollsters of the election!"

"I'm undecided, but that doesn't mean I'm apathetic or uninformed."

Gallup...opinion plus...just plain nosey.

Climate Change is Real

"Well, I'm offended!"

"Your poll results on't look good. You're trailing 'statistically insignificant'."

Babbling Idiot

"You never told me what you thought of 'Wolverine.'" "I was waiting." "For what?" "For the consensus." "My own immediate reaction to any piece of entertainment could be biased. I need to read tweets and posts before I settle on a verdict." "If my view differs too much from the hive mind, it's not valid."

Frank integrates the modern, poll-driven, finger-in-the-wind brand of politics into his parenting style.

'According to yesterday's poll, 46% of people support having rain tomorrow while 36% are against. 24% are undecided.'

Gentlemen, I'm gathering information about the electorate. First question, how have you voted in the past? Sometimes I've filled in circles with a pen. Or used an electronic touch-screen. Once I punched holes in a card! When you live in Florida, right? I've written in a name. And voted by mail! I'm beginning to understand why polling data is increasingly unreliable.