Ophthalmology Observer Gifts

"Miss Jones, get up here and change this eye chart, please!"

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

'Chicken Farms - Pecking Order'

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

'I miss telling people they can't have a day off to be with their sick children!'

'No, I'm sorry, Danny. I'm afraid your dad won't be able to shoot laser beams from his eyes after surgery.'

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

Pirate eye test

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

Hospital Departments

"All other letters have been disallowed."

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

'They're right.polorized sunglasses do help you see better underwater.'

'Despite his laser eye surgery, he still doesn't see the mess he leaves in the living room every day.'

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

'Whatever it is, you've got it bad and that ain't good.'

'Wait! Wait a minute! Would you hold my glasses?'

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

"What we need in this organisation is more personal contact."

'Have you tried removing the blindfold?'

'When are you going to admit you need glasses?'

NHS/Private Eye Care.

'How dare they make these kind of suggestions?!'

'It's Blurred.'

'He wasn't doing a bit good, until I changed his glasses.'

'I suppose it was a blessing. Toward the end he was finding it very difficult to remain competitive.'

'Aha! I think I figured out the headache problem, one of these things is pointed the other way. This would explain the double vision.'