Operation Recovery Pillows

'He's worried that he'll emerge a butterfly.'

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

Spa

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

Danger Slow Sand.

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

Saline Drip Sommelier.

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

"Yeah, my life flashed before my eyes!...OK, it was food - all the food I've ever eaten flashed before my eyes."

"I'm sorry, Chuckles. We had to remove your funny bone."

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

"Hey, I got you a beautiful orchid to cheer you up until it turns into just a stick protruding from dirt."

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'

"I'm sure he'll pull through. He's always been a real fighter."

'The food here isn't too bad, just try not to swallow !'

"Call me a taxi if I start foaming at the mouth."

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

'Ignore them, Charlie. They're nothing but philistines. I liked your poetry, truly I did!'