Operating Room Style Gifts

"The white carpet in here was a mistake."

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

"Sorry, that's not my table."

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

'These computer repair people certainly take their jobs seriously.'

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

'You'll be awake during the entire procedure...but no peeking!'

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

Say, aren't you my old shop teacher who said I couldn't cut a straight line to save my life?

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

"I'm Dr. Fenton. I'll be performing your microsurgery today."

'I need to reset his internal clock...does anyone have the correct time?'

Surgery / Canteen - The perplexities of priorites.

'Where's the first-aid kit?'

'Doctor, I don't think the five-second rule applies to transplant organs.'

'You're wrong...this is brain surgery.'

"You know that feeling when you walk into a room and can't remember why you're there..."

"Curl your fingers to avoid cuts when slicing or chopping...I learned that trick on a TV cooking show!"

Operating table.

'Forgive the interruption, but can the surgeon wait until after he operates on me to play his chess.'

'I'm going to administer the anaesthetic.' - 'Okay.' - 'You might feel a little prick in your hand...' - '...as the bishop said to the-' - 'Men are less irritating under anaesthetic.' - 'Zzz...'

Wow, is that the new lithotripter? No, it's the new Dolby surround sound system, with extra-tech woofers.

"I'm sorry John, but your back surgery has been placed on back order."

"Okay go ahead, but I say the appendix is on the right."

"I just want to say before you go under that I'm super excited as this is my first time."

A Doctor sewing up a Patient's incision with a sewing machine.

'Nurse, turn the basketball game up. This is a painful procedure,so I don't want to miss the game due to the patient's screaming.'