Operating Room Style Pillows

"The white carpet in here was a mistake."

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

"Sorry, that's not my table."

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

'These computer repair people certainly take their jobs seriously.'

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

'You'll be awake during the entire procedure...but no peeking!'

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

Quick! 5-second rule!

"And it'll stay clamped until you play my Usher CD."

Say, aren't you my old shop teacher who said I couldn't cut a straight line to save my life?

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

"I'm Dr. Fenton. I'll be performing your microsurgery today."

'I need to reset his internal clock...does anyone have the correct time?'

An aspiring magician as well as a top notch surgeon, Dr.Curmbott always tried the old tablecloth trick after each operation.'

Surgery / Canteen - The perplexities of priorites.

'Where's the first-aid kit?'

'Doctor, I don't think the five-second rule applies to transplant organs.'

"Oh. I know what that organ is! Wait, don't tell me."

'You're wrong...this is brain surgery.'

"You know that feeling when you walk into a room and can't remember why you're there..."

"Curl your fingers to avoid cuts when slicing or chopping...I learned that trick on a TV cooking show!"

Darn, there's always one piece leftover that doesn't fit anywhere.

Operating table.

'Forgive the interruption, but can the surgeon wait until after he operates on me to play his chess.'

'I'm going to administer the anaesthetic.' - 'Okay.' - 'You might feel a little prick in your hand...' - '...as the bishop said to the-' - 'Men are less irritating under anaesthetic.' - 'Zzz...'

"I'm sorry John, but your back surgery has been placed on back order."

Wow, is that the new lithotripter? No, it's the new Dolby surround sound system, with extra-tech woofers.

"Okay go ahead, but I say the appendix is on the right."

"I just want to say before you go under that I'm super excited as this is my first time."

A Doctor sewing up a Patient's incision with a sewing machine.