Opening Night Gifts

Chekov play and scorecard,

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

Waving from Behind the Curtain

Madame Rejane- Famous French Actress in the Part of Madame Sans Gene

'Hello, I'm your understudy.'

Taking a peek at the audience

"It's not a huge role, but it is Shakespeare. I get to ask the king if he wants bottled or tap."

"Is there a playwright in the house?"

"And what else do you think you can bring to the role of Edmund, Earl of Gloucester?"

Theatre Masks and Butts

Theatre Sketches by Daummier - They say that it is difficult to satisfy the Parisians. In these four rows there is not one who is dissatisfied, but of course, all these Frenchmen are - Romans

Cleaner cleaning under the feet of the dancers as they perform

"Bravo!"

"A glimpse into a cartoon character's dressing room..."

Bravo!

Zombie standup

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

The Demise of Tinkerbell

Movie Awards. Winner. It's been a big night for Ernie! He won three times at the movie-set caterer awards! On one set he made a healthy, refreshing beverage that received rave reviews from the cast and crew. He won the "best pitcher" award for it. Did they say he won for best costumes? No, his dressings won. His sticky buns won also. For "best leading roll" performance, right? No, for best "cinnamontography"!

Macbeth: Take Two

Masquerade

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

'Nine national treasures in one film! Start writing your Oscar speech, darling.'

Fat fairy

Daniel Day Lewis

"Chills, Randy. I feel chills. And I can't move." "And I can't remember the last time my palms were this sweaty." "This must've been what people felt like when they heard the Allies were finally invading Normandy on D-Day." "No way any movie can live up to this hype." "Wolverine day is almost upon us." "We are about to embark upon the great crusade..."

'Don't mind him, he gets that way every Opening Day when I tell him he can't have a gun.'

"Take it from the beginning. Act One. 'Gypsy.' 'May We Entertain You?' And this time, Mrs. Ritterhouse, without the Baby June split."

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"

"There's nothing like a dame!"

"Right, let the consumption of alcohol begin."

Carpet

'They're not tears. It's water displacement from the bath scene.'

Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen in: Changing Seasons. Does life affirm with coming fall? Leaved hit the ground, men huddle. Smashing each other over a ball. Wrestling around in a puddle. Huh? In this potpourri of hulky sights, one image is hardly the least, sir. So many changes, so many nights ... to see Eli Manning's keister. The bard of NY Giants football. Beautiful. Disgusting.