Opening A New Gallery T-Shirts

'You're no Pollock.'

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

Painting taking root...

Misunderstood artist

"Me? How about you go closer and read the plaque!"

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

"Now this I get."

Art Gallery.

Curators at the Louvre Museum would regret approving the installation of a work on a wall behind the Mona Lisa.

Art of Surviving

"I read 'Art News.'"

Private Viewing

"I've just got this sudden craving for pizza."

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

"Outré or simply bad?"

Leaves falling out of a painting.

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

Dogs looking at a fire hydrant in an art gallery.

"I can deal with the conceptual art and electronic music, but what are these hors d'oeuvres supposed to be."

"Hmmm...I wonder what the artist is trying to say...?"

Instant art

"You don't look a day over 30,000."

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"It's a cautionary tale about why we shouldn't cut arts funding in schools."

"In this piece, the price clearly does not reflect what the artist is trying to say."

Boy copying abstract artwork in an art gallery.