Open-space Strategist Gifts

"Our open-space office really stimulates information sharing when everyone removes their noise-cancelling headphones."

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

"Brandon isn't adapting well to the open office concept."

Frank and Ernest Celestial Accountants. How's the audit of the Bankrupt Universe, Inc. going, Ernie? At first I thought it was a personnel problem -- Halley's Comet shows up once every seventy-six years, the supernovas are a bunch of burnouts and of course planet Mercury only works eighty-eight days a year. But the real problem isn't personnel, it's corporate strategy! Strategy? What's wrong? Universe, Inc. thinks it can keep expanding and expanding forever and ever!

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

'It looks to me like they come in peace.'

For the musician strapped for space...the Murphy piano.

Hard Hat Area/Hard Nosed Area.

Murphy's Bed meets Murphy's Law.

"I'd like an aisle seat, please."

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

"My kitchen is very small. Do you have any with doors that swing in?"

Murphy bed...Murphy.

"We went with an open floor plan because it can really facilitate a shared sense of hysteria."

Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Earth, Venus, Mars … Mercury … Um, Pluto? Charon? No, Pluto … or Eris? Ugh …

"Phew! I narrowly avoided a near miss!"

"To save money, all you need to do is pack all those clothes into this suitcase. Be sure to leave room for my shoes."

"I thought you were the one who sent jobs overseas."

"We didn't have room to store the Halloween decorations so we put them on the Christmas Tree."

Financing Nemo

'I want to be the first person to land on the sun.'

Protecting batteries from the sun

Ok, I've set you up with an offshore back account, so you can hide your valuables for use after the oncoming apocalypse. You're too kind, sir. Where is it? Caymans? Switzerland? That's amateur stuff. The economy's increasingly global. When America goes down, it could take the Swiss and Cayman economies down with it. Then where – To open your account, I'll need your passport, tax returns, and a map of your genome. Bank of Deneb Prime. Trump turned me on to it.

Space force clocks.

The Evolution of fish

Artists in big spaces paint big canvases, whilst artists in small spaces paint on small ones.

"They expect to get all this into a one-bedroom in Brooklyn."

Walking stooped 'So that was the spare room.'

"We did a worst-case scenario of that asteroid hitting our planet."

'We must cut production because we've run out of warehouse space'. (at Swedish Furniture Co.)

Keep her steady!

"Just think - if it really was 'unlivably small', would they have installed a permanent ping-pong table?"

"We went with an open floor plan because it can really facilitate a shared sense of hysteria."

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