Open-plan Skeptic Gifts

I'm sorry, but I have to let you go, Harpic- the office is going open-plan.

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

A man is living in small box apartment trying to read a book, but is surrounded by people engaging in noisy activities.

"Brandon isn't adapting well to the open office concept."

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

'I was wondering, Mr. Hartwelder, if I could be paid in money rather than stock options?'

"The best laid plans of mice and men... differ materially in their objectives."

Organic foods stand manned by stallholder using fly spray.

'We don't have a health plan but our accountant knows Reiki.'

"This better not be another one of your crazy pyramid schemes."

'Now, if we stick to our financial plan, I can retire at 55 and you at 87.'

"What do you want to be when you give up?"

'Have you given any thought to what you're going to do with your life after Summer Vacation?'

"My new health plan only allows in network complaining."

"Would you believe it, that pensions liberation plan was just an on-line scam..."

'We projected every contingency except for our plan actually working.'

"I've got about 3 more inches before I'm willing to get reading glasses."

"At least my lawyer got two years more than me."

"I wonder if we'll still have to eat kale this summer."

Sandwiches - We use 100% natural cardboard for bread.

"Eureka...it's the 'natural' flavour we've been looking for."

"And, as a new employee, you are immediately entitled to participate in the company's proactive health plan."

"Would anyone like to hear about my bathroom extension?"

'I don't know... Adam's not really into organics!"

"You told me never to get high. That's why my grades aren't."

'He was a brilliant strategist but not much of a horseman.'

"Dad, I took the money out of my college fund, but I decided not to go to college."

'Some health plan, huh?'

"I am allergic to pesticide-free food."

"Not everyone has found it easy to adapt to the open plan office."

Tasty Organic Meal - Just Add Artificial Flavouring & Preservative