Online Visibility Seeker Gifts

"Just put in 'guy who wears a toilet on his back' and I should pop right up."

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

Hospital Departments

'It's Blurred.'

Desert wifi

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

"You're lucky you're a U.S. citizen and this is America! The government has generously offered you five free guesses about what you're charged with and where you're going to be secretly detained."

"For far too long, we've missed out on the opportunity to profit from our videos."

As Seen On TV

The optician's arrival ended Phil's short sightedness and his 15 year island exile.

'You say you're having trouble seeing the future.'

People told me virtual dating was safe!

"You're almost there, but as things stand I'm afraid I can't process your invisibility patent."

"Nothing wrong with your eyesight sir: must have been a mirage you saw..."

'I've taken my knowledge of science and math and applied them to fashion to produce a wardrobe that's guaranteed to malfunction to get you the most possible publicity.'

Chewbacca mom and her entire family get full college scholarships.

"I'm here for an examination, my ditzy missus thinks I may need glasses."

"We specialize in pretrial publicity."

"If you retweet it and you have '0' followers, was it retweeted?"

Focus Group: "Better or worse? How about now? Better or worse?"

"Ok, now, let's get one of you demanding your privacy."

'How do these glasses feel?'

'Do you want to know if your child will be a viral internet sensation?'

'Hmm, yes sir, I think we may need to review that quote that I gave you over the phone.'

'Becoming enlightened fifteen minutes before I did doesn't EITHER give you seniority!'

"Say something viral."

'The problem isn't your high definition television, it's your low definition eyes.'

I guess videos are getting easier to make.

"This really is your last chance Mr Perkins."

"Watch out! You almost got me!"

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'