Online Socializing Pillows

"I joined an online fraternity."

A three eyed alien staring intently at a computer screen.

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

"My email is down... talk to me."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

Playing Fetch.

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"This place has the best happy hour."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

Sloaney Pony.

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"He was overly socialized as a puppy."

Cocktails on the verandah.

"May I have this arythmic flail?"

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Where do we put Desserts?"

Moses on the web

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

Party Animals.