Online Seller Gifts

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Pssst! Do you have anything on American history?"

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

Blue Stockings - Female poet who has not sold any of her books

"Author does not do tricks."

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

Sue the Author 3PM

In a world where spelling doesn't count.

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit, today, sir - a ream of paper and a half-dozen pencils.'

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

Sign in a bookshop window offers chance to meet the narrator of the audio book.

'I found him on the internet.'

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

"I learned how to shop online, mommy. If you see a series of tractor trailers arrive, it's just the rest of the stuff I ordered."

'The Lemming Book Store'

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

"Mommy, look! Tablets from olden days!"

'Oddly enough you're the third person to buy that today!'

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

Online Shopping.

Your Entire Life Delivered To Your Door!

Gracious, child...bubbling cauldrons of potions are old hat. I get mine over the internet, delivered frozen and ready for the microwave!

"Let's go back to our cabana, get into bed and shop online."

'It's amazing what you can get on e-Bay these days.'