Online Seller T-Shirts

Book signing. 'Who shall I put it to?' 'Ebay, please.'

'Time' 'Temp' 'Items on ebay'

"I told you, you can sell ANYTHING on Ebay!"

"I don't understand this... Nobody wants to buy my car on eBay, but I got 14 bids for my tie..."

"...And then I got all excited and sold my COMPUTER on eBay!"

"You're a genius, Kevin, how many times is it now that you've sold our boomerang on Ebay?"

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

"Pssst! Do you have anything on American history?"

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

Blue Stockings - Female poet who has not sold any of her books

Sue the Author 3PM

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

"Author does not do tricks."

In a world where spelling doesn't count.

The Official Covid-19 Diet

"Amazon's new A.I. just 'gets' me."

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit, today, sir - a ream of paper and a half-dozen pencils.'

Sign in a bookshop window offers chance to meet the narrator of the audio book.

'I found him on the internet.'

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

'The Lemming Book Store'

"I learned how to shop online, mommy. If you see a series of tractor trailers arrive, it's just the rest of the stuff I ordered."

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

"Mommy, look! Tablets from olden days!"

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'