Online Seller Superstar T-Shirts

"I've got seller's remorse!"

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Pssst! Do you have anything on American history?"

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

Blue Stockings - Female poet who has not sold any of her books

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.

Sue the Author 3PM

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

"Author does not do tricks."

In a world where spelling doesn't count.

Soaring Profits

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit, today, sir - a ream of paper and a half-dozen pencils.'

"You're on top of this week's Sales Pyramid."

Trade Show Sherpas

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

Sign in a bookshop window offers chance to meet the narrator of the audio book.

'Herb will provide one of his concise interpretations of the quarterly sales charts.'

'The Lemming Book Store'

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

"Hire me and I'll bring in orders. Big orders. You're gonna need a bigger door."

"Mommy, look! Tablets from olden days!"

'Oddly enough you're the third person to buy that today!'

Books - Cartoon Collections: HumorGraphic NovelsBlasphemy.

Gallery book shop - Rodin's Browser

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

Non-Fiction / Nun-Fiction

A Specialty Bookstore Chain that Failed, 'Untitled Books.'

Crime in bookshop