Star Seller T-Shirts

"I sell space."

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Selling lemon latt�

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Pssst! Do you have anything on American history?"

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

Kar Boot Sale (child's toys).

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

Blue Stockings - Female poet who has not sold any of her books

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

"Author does not do tricks."

Sue the Author 3PM

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

In a world where spelling doesn't count.

Trade Show Sherpas

'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit, today, sir - a ream of paper and a half-dozen pencils.'

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

Soaring Profits

"You're on top of this week's Sales Pyramid."

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

Sign in a bookshop window offers chance to meet the narrator of the audio book.

'Herb will provide one of his concise interpretations of the quarterly sales charts.'

'The Lemming Book Store'

"Hire me and I'll bring in orders. Big orders. You're gonna need a bigger door."

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

"Mommy, look! Tablets from olden days!"

'Oddly enough you're the third person to buy that today!'

A young boy sits behind a lemonade stand with a sign that reads "Lemonade 25¢ - Jay Antosh, Chief Executive Officer".

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

Gallery book shop - Rodin's Browser