Online Savvy Individuals Gifts

'You could try changing your profile picture...'

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

"Did you get my tweet?"

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

Online Dating

'I'll be a responsible and mature asset to the company, as proven by the lack of asinine photos of me on Facebook.'

Victorian Selfie

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

"#BeCurious"

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

The Re-Opening of Schools

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

'You know, you can do this all online now.'

So, if you don't get this mail because I wrote the wrong address again, please reply to me a.s.a.p. Best, Bob

'...till death, or a really huge argument over ringtones, do you part.'

"We do have on item the internet hasn't already beaten into the ground, ad nauseam."

"We're staying together for the sake of our facebook page..."

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"I already have the perfect hashtag!"

If Watergate Happened Now the Press Would Be Too Busy Reporting on Tweets

"Remember, I want to hear fifteen solid minutes of small talk before you ask for the Wi-Fi password."

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

To get past the gates of Heaven you have to now enter an internet style password

"Our latest technological leap allowed us to automate our full operation, become carbon-neutral, and keep all our employees."

'The computer is down... you'll have to wait for your hate mail.'

"Wouldn't it have been easier just to tweet those?"

"And a final note: Perception officially become reality."

"How'd I find you? I followed you on Twitter."

'Computer crime' 'To see your belongings visit our website www,burgular.com'

"I can't tell if these are vacation pictures or influencer shots." "Is there really a difference?"

Facebook/Meta

"My son, using 'Reply All' is not a sin."

My fitness tracker said I was dead but I thought I'd better get a second opinion

"Emojis fail me."

Yeah, I do the same thing – sniff their posts but never contribute. Dog lurkers.