Online Retail Employee T-Shirts

Fulfilment Centre.

Killer Executive Suits.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

'She's so put together!'

A women in a shoeshop.

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

Special offer on snakeskin ties.

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

New Shoes.

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

"How was work?"

Friday

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

New Suit.

"You got maybe one that smells like cheese blintzes frying?"

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

"We need a union!'

'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit, today, sir - a ream of paper and a half-dozen pencils.'

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

Unfinished Funiture Store.

Shoes Make The Man

Stationery Shop

"If there's any one lesson we've learned from the eighties, it's how to shop!"