Online Pet Influencer Pillows

"Lori, I can’t talk right now — I’m right in the middle of updating my dog’s Facebook page."

"I got 30 likes but Mom's was not one of them."

Tamagotchi paralysis.

'And, for the student with the most hits on his or her Facebook page, the award goes to Lisa Skemley!'

I think the cat wants to go out.

"We're staying together for the sake of our facebook page..."

'No-one buys these stylish frames for their eyes, usually it's for their Facebook photo's.'

'Who handles your media, Rex?'

"He's the one family member who doesn't care if I post hundreds of photos of him online."

"Great, the end of the world and I'm going to be first on facebook with pictures!!"

"I just tweeted a chirp."

'My blog has been favourited over half a million times but still no book deal!'

'Does a blog count as being published.'

'I've been hired by a zoologist to keep a detailed blog of my daily life,,,'

The power of the blog.

'Tweet, tweet...Acme Bird Seed is the best, tweet.'

"How do you think that makes Gail feel, knowing her only dog is posting naked pictures of herself all over the internet?"

"Does he byte?"

"My first video flopped. Okay. Bad script. But then I did a walk-on for Disney and wound up with a three-video streaming deal."

Catnip Brownies - Cool!

"I take offense, therefore I am."

"I left my computer on, and my virtual pet dog tore up the place."

'According to his blog, Vince has just made another kill...'

"My big fat ego has just discovered Twitter!"

"I have 1,8000 friends on facebook....and you want a college degree?"

In the social media courtroom...

'The royalties from Muffin's internet videos were really good last month!'

"Bob's more realistic."

Donald Trump's going to be the Republican nominee. Mark my words. No way. In the four seconds it took you to say that sentence, I posted a tweet about him and counted the number of retweets. I've got 15,000 followers. Not a single one retweeted it. And look, seven people just stopped following me. I'm not convinced your methodology is scientifically sound. Another one just insulted my mother.

"I have to call you back, Mom. I'm right in the middle of updating the dog's website."

'I need a new motto, with 140 characters.'

"Your resume is mediocre, but I'm very impressed by your social media persona."

'It's not that I don't want to spank you. It's just that I know you'll blog about it if I do.'

"Ms. Hoffman, we're from the SPCA investigating allegations of animal cruelty. Is it true that you force your small dog to wear holiday sweaters?"

'I'll put you on my blogroll if you put me on yours.'