Digital Dog Influencer Pillows

"Sure it's the same food every night, but my 'what's for dinner' site is followed by over 100,000 dogs."

"I got 30 likes but Mom's was not one of them."

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

Mark Zuckerberg

'And, for the student with the most hits on his or her Facebook page, the award goes to Lisa Skemley!'

"Lori, I can’t talk right now — I’m right in the middle of updating my dog’s Facebook page."

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

"Thank you for your e-mail. I will be out on a walk for the next twenty minutes and plan on barking remotely until my return."

"We're staying together for the sake of our facebook page..."

Happy Tots Day Care.

"I just tweeted a chirp."

'My blog has been favourited over half a million times but still no book deal!'

"Great, the end of the world and I'm going to be first on facebook with pictures!!"

"Look, you got mail! Press the 'fetch' key."

"He's the one family member who doesn't care if I post hundreds of photos of him online."

'No-one buys these stylish frames for their eyes, usually it's for their Facebook photo's.'

'Does a blog count as being published.'

The power of the blog.

"We've known each other for years Bob, and this grooming style suited you when you were young, but it's time to let it go!"

Mark Zuckerberg

"I'm worried about my leadership ability. None of the board members follow me on Twitter."

"The tweet you posted last night struck a chord around the world, united all factions, and basically altered the course of humanity."

'Tweet, tweet...Acme Bird Seed is the best, tweet.'

"What I lack in charisma I make up for in social media presence."

Media Whore Raceway.

"Better than a hunting dog - she sniffs out wifi hotspots."

Dog views website: www.oof.com

"How do you think that makes Gail feel, knowing her only dog is posting naked pictures of herself all over the internet?"

"It all started out just fetching sticks, and the business sort of grew from there."

Catnip Brownies - Cool!

"I take offense, therefore I am."

Donald Trump's going to be the Republican nominee. Mark my words. No way. In the four seconds it took you to say that sentence, I posted a tweet about him and counted the number of retweets. I've got 15,000 followers. Not a single one retweeted it. And look, seven people just stopped following me. I'm not convinced your methodology is scientifically sound. Another one just insulted my mother.

"Okay, I'll admit it. I'm only dating you so you'll follow me on social media."

"I taught him how to speak, shake hands and, as you can see, fetch information."

"My big fat ego has just discovered Twitter!"