Online Libraries Gifts

The Ebookmobile

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

"Meet the scribe"

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

Little dog in Romance section in bookstore under sign: 'Puppy Love'

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

Gen-Next Library

Paranormal A-Z...

"Stinkin' fake news!"

Another Bigfoot sighting...

"Author does not do tricks."

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

"Yep, I've read this chapter before."

Updated Classis: Alice Through the You Tube.

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

Myths and legends...

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

The Lessons of VietnamThe Lessons of Iran and ContraThe Lessons of Iraq.

Computer games

'Have you got the book 'After the end of the world'?'

Whodunnit. Whoreallydunnit.

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

Travelogue

'I know it's overdue but I've been in Intensive Care.'

'Neither a lender nor a borrower be.'

Library door sign says, 'We have encyclopedias ... the original Facebook!'

Kid to boy in library: 'Oh, we came at the busiest part of the day ... it's a reading frenzy.'

'You know, you can do this all online now.'

The lion statues in front of New York City Library are replaced with spies.