Online Community Ponderer Gifts

"If everyone's online, where's the crowd?"

That party went well.

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

'According to the latest poll, 64% of the public don't pay any attention to polls...'

Dr. Darrin found her peer review process unnerving.

"It's from the Facebook company. They're buying out every messaging platform."

"Genetic engineering has made us disease resistant."

'Turn your thinking cap around, Robert.'

"Of course it's not easy to read the body language of someone who's basically inert."

"I'm basically happy but I'd like a most cost-effective personality."

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

"An equation for your thoughts?"

'Revolution? I thought you creatures said you wanted Evolution!'

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

"The year may be over, but it'll be dragged back up on history tests for years to come."

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

Well at least we can handle these rocks.

"If you retweet it and you have '0' followers, was it retweeted?"

'Well, so much for that round-earth theory of yours, smart guy.'

Mountains and Molehills

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

"The latest numbers are in. More voters want you to drop out than to run."

If a cell phone vibrates in the woods, does anyone give a damn?

Hmmm... what's my real purpose? Why am I here? - 'Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me! Let me guess!' - 'Go on, then.' - 'Is your life a homage mediocrity?' - 'Ouch.' - 'Quizzes are fun! Ask me more!' -

Which came first, the club or the hole?

"My research paper wasn't accepted by any of the juried publications, but it's regarded throughout the academic community as highly downloadable."

At first she didn't want to live if it meant being attached to tubes. But before you knew it, they were getting along just fine.

How do medicines work? They don't! All they do is give God time to heal the body!

Do you have a problem?. . . Continue on as usual.

"Of course I'm glad we escaped, I just wish I could say goodbye to the cocaine button one more time."

"What are your policies regarding the collection and use of children's data?"

Remainders Shop

'Really, Grandpa, I don't need to know about bubbles' surface tension, pressure and elasticity to enjoy blowing them.'

'Have you ever tried pushing a piece of string?.'

Big Society: 'Somebody should do something!'