Online Community Ponderer Gifts

"If everyone's online, where's the crowd?"

That party went well.

'According to the latest poll, 64% of the public don't pay any attention to polls...'

Dr. Darrin found her peer review process unnerving.

"Of course it's not easy to read the body language of someone who's basically inert."

"Genetic engineering has made us disease resistant."

"It's from the Facebook company. They're buying out every messaging platform."

'Turn your thinking cap around, Robert.'

"I'm basically happy but I'd like a most cost-effective personality."

"An equation for your thoughts?"

'Revolution? I thought you creatures said you wanted Evolution!'

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

"The year may be over, but it'll be dragged back up on history tests for years to come."

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

'Well, so much for that round-earth theory of yours, smart guy.'

"If you retweet it and you have '0' followers, was it retweeted?"

Well at least we can handle these rocks.

Mountains and Molehills

"My research paper wasn't accepted by any of the juried publications, but it's regarded throughout the academic community as highly downloadable."

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

Hmmm... what's my real purpose? Why am I here? - 'Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me! Let me guess!' - 'Go on, then.' - 'Is your life a homage mediocrity?' - 'Ouch.' - 'Quizzes are fun! Ask me more!' -

If a cell phone vibrates in the woods, does anyone give a damn?

Which came first, the club or the hole?

"The latest numbers are in. More voters want you to drop out than to run."

At first she didn't want to live if it meant being attached to tubes. But before you knew it, they were getting along just fine.

Do you have a problem?. . . Continue on as usual.

How do medicines work? They don't! All they do is give God time to heal the body!

"What are your policies regarding the collection and use of children's data?"

"Of course I'm glad we escaped, I just wish I could say goodbye to the cocaine button one more time."

Remainders Shop

'Really, Grandpa, I don't need to know about bubbles' surface tension, pressure and elasticity to enjoy blowing them.'

'Have you ever tried pushing a piece of string?.'

Big Society: 'Somebody should do something!'

"The only thing I've learned from my mistakes is that apparently I'll keep making them."