Online Comment Connoisseur Gifts

Reading my Critics

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

Men gossiping

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

'This program is geared towards the youth market. You give it up to five commands and it closes down in a huff!'

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

Sculptor's chippings

S**t Threw a Goose

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

"Wow, you look sexy today."

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

"Thank you, Nathaniel. I think you, too, are a very scary young lawyer."

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"I said, you know why women talk more than men?" "What?" "I said, you know why women talk more than men..." "What?"

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

"The show's a big hit, but a little too risque. It's not worth the aggravation we're getting from the watchdog groups."

"I would never do a nude scene, unless the part really called for it."

"We should probably talk about the elephant in the Roomba."

'Look on it as... constructive criticism.'

'Let me guess: you and everyone else?'

'This advertising campagn is stupid and disgusting and it appeals to peoples' most primitive instincts. I love it.'

Barbed Pen

"The first three chapters read like they were written by some guy on a couch."

White Wine Wisdom (2)

Bookshop: Our Bestsellers - Empty Phrases

'You do obscenity very well. Can you talk without being obscene as well?'

'You dance like my mother.'

Film Critic