Online Banking Warrior Gifts

'Your session has timed out.'

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

Second lifeReal life.

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

'You know, you can do this all online now.'

How many times do I have to tell you. . . you're broke! Broke! Broke!

"I hate check writing, but, hey, it pays the bills."

'I don't believe in hoarding cash and gold Dad: I invest in shares online...'

Serious bummer! The bank says I'm overdrawn.

'Getting back into the market can be stressful. I recommend a portfolio heavy on sleep-aids, tranquilizers, and antacids.'

"He was a computer programmer who liked to google news... shop on line... play computer games... entertain via face book... do his banking on the internet and asked to be shut down here on Reboot Hill."

"...and how often do you feel monkas?"

"I have a right to disagree! You can't force me to use logic."

Friendly banks and Cold and aloof banks.

'How to handle market stress' book being thrown through investments office window.

Wife doing Internet banking & Online shopping, saying 'Darling, I'm just collecting my pension. Is there anything we need from the shops?'

'The side effects are headaches, sweating,nervousness, and a depressed bank account.'

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'

'I made that payment a couple of days ago. The check's in the Internet.'

Pig Bank Hammer

"In the time I’ve been on hold with this collection agency, my debt has been bought and sold to another collection agency!"

Big City Bank Loan manager

It says 'item is returnable if repackaged exactly as sent.'"

Better Than Roses

One of the dangers of being new to online banking.

David and Goliath(?)

"First it was one kid, then another and another...mobile banking has put my kind out of work."

'Tell me if this hurts.'

'Your allowance has been wire transferred to your debit card.'

ATM saying 'Game Over.'

"Stop pouting, Randy. You've survived other Internet outages before."

'I can't sleep, knowing that the increased cost of doing business is being passed on to me!'

Man's self-assessment form says: 'I'm screwed.'

Books 'when down markets happen to up people.2