Bank Account Warrior Gifts

ATM saying 'Game Over.'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

"I hate check writing, but, hey, it pays the bills."

"Honey, I love celebrating Christmas! I love all the food, the sweets, the Christmas tree and the presents, but our bank account hates Christmas!"

"We got the cactus account!"

I've managed to get your tax bill down to zero, this year ... however, my bill is $10 million.

'I said we've got to lift up our numbers! I did not say to turn a loss of 150.000,- into a loss of 280.000,-!!'

"You want to withdraw your money? There's a fee for that."

'Getting back into the market can be stressful. I recommend a portfolio heavy on sleep-aids, tranquilizers, and antacids.'

"Well, there it is in black and white - we're in the red."

'The operation we want you to do is to remove 25 from our budgets.'

MBA, PhD £100,000 student loan. Please Help.

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

"Yes dear. But, I don't think you're actually supposed to dispose of your disposable income."

'How to handle market stress' book being thrown through investments office window.

'Of course, that bid's just an estimate.'

'The side effects are headaches, sweating,nervousness, and a depressed bank account.'

'We have to move again -- I've worn out all the banks in town.'

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'

"She used to shop until she dropped, but with online shopping, we lost that protection."

Pig Bank Hammer

"When we got married, you said we'd be in the lap of luxury...but here we are, in the butt of bankruptcy!"

Generation Rend. Young man rending his garments in anguish at extortionate rents.

"I need the epipen? I need the epipen?! Where am I going to get that kind of money to pay for it?"

'I want to eat healthy food, but it takes green to eat green.'

Better Than Roses

Big City Bank Loan manager

"I feel that just as as I think I can make ends meet, someone moves the ends!"

Man Struggling with Taxes/Clothing/Medical/Misc/Food/Shelter/Education.